One step forward and one step back

There once was an intrepid young man
who developed a quixotic plan:
"Score points updating important docs late at night,
lose them comparing goatse and the Tour website,
and work hard just to stay where I began."

Ade, you're killing me. There are plenty of things I'm trying to erase from my memory: Ace of Base, my awkward teenage years (ages 11-27), the Care Bears, any video by David Hasselhoff, and certain unlinkable, unmentionable websites.

Like the Yeti and the Loch Ness monster, what most people are asking: Where did the mysterious third hand come from?