Now how did I get here?

Major tactical error.

I'm supposed to get paid to draw on whiteboards and talk about ambiguous things like "strategy" and "vision".

Now I've got two weeks to write a dumptruck full of code (restricted from saying more).

Haven't been in CodeMode in a while: Cancel all meetings until 9/30, make sure I have 24-access, functional VPN, Mountain Dew and Pepto Bismol.

I need an intern.